Justin Bieber...Secret Nazi?

Yep...I'm attacking Justin Bieber. I know, the whole world wide blog-o-sphere is doing the same thing...but come on--no one has the balls to say the truth.

I'm ignorant, by the way, so please remember that.

Does Bieber have one parent or two? Are they still married?

I'd like to know NOW--that way I know who to BLAME when BIEBER pulls a COREY and drops dead of an overdose.

LONG STORY SHORT--BIEBER IS INTERVIEWED & DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE WORD GERMAN MEANS.

What an asshole.

Look, I've read his TWAT. Or TWEET. Or whatever it's called when someone uses TWITTER as a damn press release.

He CLAIMS that he thought he was being asked about "JEWMAN" and not GERMAN.

"JEWMAN?"

"JEW-MAN?!"

You think Mel Gibson was salivating at that one?

Justin Bieber, who looks like a Beaver--which is funny as hell to me, is a child star for absolutely no reason. My sister in-law (who's 11) has a huge crush on him. Every time I see his mug I want to make sure my sons turn out the exact opposite.

Wait...where am I going with this.

Oh yeah, BEAVER IS AN ASSHOLE. And I mean asshole in the sense that he has no idea how stupid he is.

The fault lies in his parents.

Hold on, let me look up if this mutant's parents situation.

Yep...parents are divorced.

Guess what--now it's their fault even more than I thought it was.

God damn leaches.

Get it now, get it on, before its gone...Let’s everybody carry on, carrying on...Turn it up, set it off, before its gone!

Pearl Jam…live in St. Louis…May 4^th, 2010.

All I can say is that I’ve never, ever been in the middle of a situation and actually thought, “Oh my God! This is better then I could have ever dreamed.”

That changed.

Last night.

And that was only 2 songs into Pearl Jam’s set.

So many thoughts, words, emotions…let’s just strip (hot) to the essentials:

The band is 20 years old.

The guys in Pearl Jam are in their mid to late 40’s.

It’s 2010…not 1993.

I’m in my 30’s and I took my 10 year old son.

Given those facts, honestly, I figured I would have a good time and maybe, just maybe, Avery Elvis would not be totally bored.

Let me set the stage for you…

Avery has seen ONE concert before this. Just one. Toby Keith. No sh#t. I always fantasized that I would take him to his first concert, like my dad did with me. In some selfish ways I actually thought that maybe I would be performing his first concert—with my band Vallium. I tried to spark up a charity reunion show—but the guys from the group are too busy playing in ‘bar/cover bands’ to humor the idea.

I got to the venue with Avery right about the time the opening band, BAND OF HORSES, hit the stage. My thoughts on them? They had a very cool slide show play on the backdrop behind them.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Even though Avery had already "kind of" been to a concert before (I'm going to try and not mention Toby Keith anymore in this review) he has never had a concert t-shirt. Well damn it, that was going to change.

So, during half of BAND OF HORSES, we went looking for a perfect concert t-shirt. (See the photo at the top to check out our selection)

After the shirt selection, Avery really wanted to put it on. (this is a part of the evening that really made me laugh) We went to the men's room. Avery hit a stall and I walked up to a jon for a quick whiz. It was a men's room at a rock concert. Guys will know what the room looked and smelled like without me having to set the scene for you. Avery ran up next to me, while I was trying to whiz, and he said, a little too loudly, "Dad! Some of these guys brought booze in here!"

I did a quick glance around at some of the guys and they all gave me a look that told me they thought my son's reaction was pretty 'cute' and funny. So, being a good dad, I looked at Avery and said, "Yeah, I know. Wow. Well, did your dad get booze?"

"No."

"Well then, that's all you need to know, son. Let's check out that shirt."

Avery's face lit up like a firecracker when he caught a glance of himself in the mirror.

Around all of the guys at the sinks Avery let out a loud, "Woooh!" He clapped his hands together and said, "Let's do it, dad!"

Even if Pearl Jam decided to cancel--at that moment--I was on cloud 9.

The concert took forever to start. I didn't time it...but at the very least, it seemed like an hour between BAND OF HORSES and PEARL JAM.

But then it happened. The house lights went out. The crowd screamed. Avery jumped up, almost knocking my jaw off, and one of the greatest evenings of my life started to kick into overdrive.

I'm not sure if I should go song by song...telling you the best bits here and there...I'll post the full set-list, but maybe it's best to just give you a review that you can only get from me. (that means I'll contradict the hell out of any intentions I've laid out and there will be no logical flow to this entire post)

They started the show with SOMETIMES. First track off of "No Code." Avery had made me promise to tell him the names of the songs, because he knew he wouldn't recognize all of them.

Ten seconds into SOMETIMES...this guy...this ex-frat-boy beer-gut jock, in the row in front of us, hits his friend and says, "Oh yeah, man! This is off of their new album!"

Avery was looking at them and I noticed he nodded.

No.

No, no, no.

I leaned in, with the over-bearing stench of Issey Miyake choking my lungs--yeah, I said it. Issey Miyake sucks. It's worn mostly by douche bags.

I said, "Sorry, sport. This song is about 14 years old. It's called SOMETIMES."

I moved back over and saw Avery give me a big smile.

Nice.

The energy from the stage could be felt throughout the entire venue. It was like The St. Louis Blues were in the Stanley Cup Playoffs--game 7--and the whole show was the bottom 5 minutes of the third period...Blues up by 1.

I'm serious, it was beyond electric.

A great highlight, before I continue, has to be...THE REEFER. Yes, there were people smoking pot. Sorry, kids, hate to expose that one.

Was I?

What are you, stoned?! Of course not. I was there with my son, you degenerate!

But the moment I dreaded did happen. About 3 songs in...Avery looked at me and said, "Dad, people are smoking!"

"I know, son. I told you they would."

"Yeah, but dad, are they smoking cigars? It doesn't smell like cigarettes!"

"Avery, shhh, don't get weird, but have you ever heard of pot?"

"Pot?"

"Yeah, son...weed?"

"WEED?! DAD, THEY'RE DOING WEED!? WE COULD ALL GO TO JAIL! IT'S ILLEGAL!"

It was, hands down, the greatest I have every seen or heard Pearl Jam--EVER. Better than the infamous live broadcast of Atlanta Georgia in '94. Better than every St. Louis performance I've caught personally.

This is going to sound lame...but I felt like I was 16 again. When I saw Pearl Jam back in 2000 and 2003 I thought, "Well, they are getting older...maybe they can't move like they used to...the 90's are over, after all."

Last night? I didn't think that ONCE. (although I would have liked to have heard ONCE)

In 2000 they played 26 songs.

In 2003 they played 25 songs.

(Yeah, I'm a huge geek)

Last night? We got 27 songs. HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Okay, I can't hold back...I'm just going to go FULL-ON SUPER FAN and go song by song.

1. Sometimes--faster than on the album and Vedder growle d and screamed the build up at the end, giving me chills and setting the pace for what is already being called, by the band, "The Sleeper in St. Louis." (Seriously, that is what Stone Gossard cal led the show, backstage, after they wrapped)
2. Corduroy--I used to love this song...then I got tired of it...when they first started in I kind of rolled my eyes...but something happened--this version (find the bootleg) is the best rendition of Corduroy I have ever heard.

   

3. All Night--This is a b-side (the dumbass ex-jock in front of me thought it was from their second album, VS) can be found on the 2-disc "Lost Dogs" release. Never intended for release as a single or even an album cut...but damn, what a great song to set the pace for us and them having "All Night!"
4. Do The Evolution--This is Avery's favorite Pearl Jam song. From the first howl of Eddie on the mic, my son was standing on his seat, pumping his fist in the air (he's only 10!) and singing along.
5. Why Go--Great way to get the whole crowd to sing al ong. Hearing this song, played the way they did last night, made me think back to the first time my Dad put the needle on the record of "Ten" and told me, with a straight face, "Joe, this will change how you hear music for the rest of your life."
6. Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town--I thought it was an odd place to put this song in their set-list. But when the lights go bright and everyone screams, "HELLO!" you can't help but get lifted up.
7. In Hiding--In 1998 I had $2.00 to my name. I was living in my friend's basement. Working 40 hours a month on FM radio. Chasing a dream and coming up short. The album "Yield" had recently come out. One night, I'll never forget, I put this song on repe at. I laid on the basement floor and dreamed. Dreamed of any life that brought me a feeling of success and completion. While singing along to this song I looked to my right and saw my son. I swear, I almost cried. It was beautiful.
8. Even Flow--I knew they would play it...I never look forward to it...but Avery looked at me and said, "Dad, the guitar guy is playing it better than on Guit ar Hero! " (EVEN FLOW was on Guitar Hero 3)

   

9. Unthought Known--New song off of "Backspacer." It sounds like the sister to WISHLIST. I had my fingers crossed for it to blend into WISHLIST. Instead, they played the "Riot Act" track:
10. Save You--Not a bad song, but it wasn't the greatest track the group ever produced...I was also hoping Avery wouldn't realize that Eddie was saying the "F" word about 30 times during that performance.
11. Down--If this song would have been on "Riot Act" and not been shelved as a b-side I, personally, believe the album would have done much better. "You can' t be neutral on a moving train...one day the symptoms fade, think I'll throw these pills away..."
12. Pilate--WOW! PILATE?! Seriously?! A song that makes their album, "Yield," even more unique and accomplished. Never heard it live. Now I want to hea r it every day.
13. Severed Hand--Eddie said that this was a "drug song." Then he reminded us all that, "Not all drugs are good...some are great."
14. Not For You--When I think of the way I get treated for my radio show, HIPP NIGHTS, I think of this song a s my anthem. Never heard a bad version of it. Last night was no different.
15. Glorified G--I really wanted to hear SATAN' S BED. I thought there was a chance. I never thought that I'd be lucky enough to hear this! Stone Gossard was on fire last night.
16. 1/2 Full--If you can't get RED MOSQUITO then you've gotta get 1/2 FULL. At least that's how I feel. Both songs are amazing jams. The changes in the vers ion they played last night are making me itch to get the bootleg immediately.

    

17. Daughter--A bit bummed that Eddie didn't do a little interpretive lyric swapping at the end...but they band made up for it with:
18. The Fixer--Yeah, yeah, I know...it's the Target song. Fine. Say what you will--but this song was so good live that I felt I was seeing the show at The Hi-Pointe (before BS politics shut it down) Intimate and raging.
    
    ENCORE 1
    

19. Inside Job--Last track off of one of their 'ballsiest' albums to date, the self titled "Pearl Jam" from 2006. A great song that sounded so sweet echoing in the rafters.
20. Just Breathe--The current LAST KISS for Pearl Jam. It's a decent song--still sounds like it should have been on the soundtrack for "INTO THE WILD," but it is, currently, the favorite Pearl Jam song of my wife. And it has the next lyric I'm getting tatto oed on my arm: "I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love."
21. Jeremy--The engineer extraordinaire of HIPP NIGHTS tells me that this is the "Radiohead Creep" for Pearl Jam. All I know is that Eddie embraced the hell out of our energy and went full-on section 8 during this number. Not a single soul wasn't singing alon g and screaming at the end.
22. Got Some--personal favorite off of the new album. Very solid rendition. In fact, it further proves to me that "Backspacer" sounds better as an album played live.
23. Rearviewmirror--I can never hear this song enough. For Avery and I it holds a special meaning. REARVIEWMIRROR was the first song Avery ever heard--ever! Leaving St. Anthony's Hospital...I got him securely strapped into the backseat...turned the radio on, and there it was, right at the beginning. REARVIEWMIRROR.
    
    ENCORE 2
    

24. Garden--If anyone paid attention to my predictions than all I need to say is, "I CALLED IT!"
25. Alive--Eddie played with the crowd on this song and, no joke, I thought he was going to jump out and crowd surf or start to scale the side of the Scott-Trade. Best moment of any concert I have ever been to happened during this performance. Avery a nd I, arms around each others shoulders, singing along word for word.
26. Baba O' Riley--No band will EVER cover THE WHO better than PEARL JAM. Quote me. Don't believe me? Then listen to them do "LOVE REIGN O'ER ME." That cover is the 2nd greatest cover of all time. (2nd only to Johnny Cash doing HURT)
27. Yellow Ledbetter--Of course. They had to close with this. And even a little flirting with the song's inspiration, LITTLE WING. Two words: "Potato Wave."
    
    

    

    
    

PEARL JAM TONIGHT!

TONIGHT...St. Louis...Avery Elvis Hipperson gets to see his FIRST PEARL JAM CONCERT!

I'm stoked.

Sure, I've seen them before...Just ask my wife how many PJ shows I've "forced her" to go and see. For the record--she only got me to leave ONE show early. That still stings...

I'm going to post a full review tomorrow.

But, to indulge my Pearl Jam love for today--and to help spread that love to some of you that might have fallen off the Jam wagon--here are the best "gateway drug" songs from each album. My way to help ease you back in.

TEN

ALIVE
Easily, the best song on the album, and the best intro song for anyone who hasn't heard of them yet.

VS

REARVIEWMIRROR
It's got a unique flow to it. The lyrics? Don't worry. If you don't get it you don't have to stress--just wait for the 3 Vedder's screaming at the end.

VITALOGY

SATAN'S BED
This is more of a personal favorite than the best "gateway drug" song for this album. Better Man is probably a better pick. But SATAN'S BED? Damn, what a cool song. "I'd stop and talk but I'm already in love."

NO CODE

HAIL HAIL
It's a very simple song. It's lyrics are some of the most beautiful--but because of the arrangement you would never know it. Best line--Are you woman enough to be my man?

YIELD

ANYTHING!!!
Any song (except the RED DOT) from this album should get you back into the Jam. Personally, I'm a sucker for NO WAY and ALL THOSE YESTERDAYS. Avery Elvis? His favorite PJ song of all time is on this album: DO THE EVOLUTION.

BINAURAL

NOTHING AS IT SEEMS
I was back and forth with this one. I picked the slow number. It's got a great guitar solo and has a vibe to it that reminds you just how powerful subtlety can be.

RIOT ACT

LOVE BOAT CAPTAIN
Okay, I'll say it...this is their worst album. But it still has some cool moments. Half of this record sounds like they're trying too hard. But LBC hits every needed note.

PEARL JAM

WORLDWIDE SUICIDE
This very well may be my favorite Pearl Jam song ever. Yeah, I love Satan's Bed. Yeah, I'm a walking contradiction...but I've NEVER turned this song off if it pops up--and Eddie's message in this song is a great "F.U." to the suspenders ruining this country.

BACKSPACER

GOT SOME
It's off to find a song that sounds better live than on the record--this song is by far the best stand out track on Backspacer--but hit youtube and watch them play it on Letterman. Brilliant.

IT'S OVER JOHNNY...IT'S OVER!

Joe Hipperson here…I’m a huge Stallone fan, so, if I get some SLY news I feel obliged to share it with you.

RAMBO is now MIA. About a year ago, while Stallone was teasing everyone with his concept for this summer’s THE EXPENDABLES, he hinted that a fifth RAMBO film would feature John J. fighting something “alien” to the franchise.

Yeah, a lot of us rolled our eyes. But, after time, I started to like the idea. Stallone vs a man in a suit-style alien/monster? The last time we saw a throw-down like that would be when Arnold turned out his best performance EVER in PREDATOR.

Sadly, I am hear to report that the idea of RAMBO coming back to the silver screen for blood, guts & carnage is dead.

Almost…

To quote the Italian Stallion himself, Stallone said, “I

think Rambo's pretty well done…I don't think there'll be any more. I'm about 99% sure.”

99% Sure?

That leaves a .01% chance!!!

The reason I bring this up is SIMPLE—If “RAMBO” was the last film in the series…well, was it good enough? I think the film was damn fun to watch. But it really reminded me (in tone) of TEARS OF THE SUN. I really wanted to see a story on American soil, with John J. Rambo, and maybe make it a throwback to how people in this country can be a greater threat than the ‘dime a dozen’ movie bad guys.

I’ll end this entry by saying that, as of right now, STALLONE CAN DO NO WRONG. You want proof? Here you go: