Joe VS The Lego Movie!

As always, this won't be a typical movie review.  I'm not going to go into detail about the writers and directors or any 'behind the scenes' stuff - because it doesn't matter...not one bit.
I was thinking about being elusive at the start of this review...I thought it would keep you reading the whole thing - just so you could discover whether or not I liked it.
I'm throwing that idea right out the window.

Titling this review, "Joe VS The Lego Movie," suggests there was a fight.  Well, there was.  I was going into it with a clear thought in my head: There's no way it can be as good as everyone is saying or as good as I want it to be.
I'm happy to say that the end result of "Joe VS The Lego Movie" is very clear.  I lost.  Lego won.  It not only won, but it blew my f#cking mind.  Yeah, I saw it in 3-D, but I'm not judging it on that...because I saw better 3-D effects in the trailer for 'The Amazing Spiderman 2.'  If you feel like paying extra and wearing those lame glasses - go for it.  But this flick doesn't need any gimmicks...which is funny, because the whole movie could have easily come off as just a gimmick itself.
Yes, there is a plot.  Yeah, there are loads of brilliant cameos.  And they really nailed the right voice actors for their roles in this film.  I'm not sure who I would give the stand-out performance to...but can't imagine anyone else nailing the part of 'Good Cop/Bad Cop' like Liam Neeson.  Pure gold.  

I'm going to keep this review pretty cut, dry, and on side of simplified.
Almost 99% of everyone I know played (or still plays) with Legos.  And of that 99%, I'd say most of them all go through the same routine - regardless of age.  We buy a new set, we follow the instructions, we build something our imagination could never have pulled off...and then, a few weeks later, it gets destroyed in an epic battle and becomes part of the massive box all the other Legos go...and THAT is when the magic happens.  That is when real building begins.  The best part of building Legos is making something all by yourself that only you could have made.  (I've build whole worlds with my sons and the only catalyst is imagination and the desire to dream)
So, with that in mind, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THE LEGO MOVIE IS REALLY ABOUT.  Seriously, it's not about plot or character arcs.  It would be pointless for me to go over the (very fun) plot with you .  Instead - here's what the Lego Movie is really all about:
You need to follow instructions in order to build anything.  You have to follow rules.  HOWEVER, it's only after you follow the rules and instructions that you can truly start to create.  You need to know where you've been to discover the adventure of where you can go.  
That's it.
That's what this movie is really all about.

I've read reviews that breakdown plot - which is pointless...I've read reviews that say it's a film with a lot of secret agendas...rubbish.  This movie is brilliant and preaches one thing...which I typed already and don't want to get as redundant as I typically do.
Some critics are griping about the length of the movie and how the battles toward the end drag on and could have been trimmed up.  Ummmmm...WHY?!  I'm serious, I know they go a bit long, but think about it - think about the audience!  When the film throws you a curve-ball in the climactic finale - ask yourself: Who was that 'twist' for?  You think it was for the kids...or their parents/grandparents.  Once you figure that out then you'll know who the epic battle scenes were for.  See, this movie caters to every possible demographic...since every possible demographic (more than likely) has a history with Legos.  
Ok, I'm rambling...
I'm giving this film a 10 out of 10.
(I'm currently looking for a new rating system...I was thinking about using "Yippie Kai-Yays" as my system.  The number of Yippie Kai-Yays a movie gets will show you how good it is).

There you go...now GO SEE THE LEGO MOVIE!

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT REVIEW

I have no idea if anyone will come across this or choose to read it.  Long story short - I haven't posted anything in years...I always imagined my return to blogging would be sparked by something HUGE...but this isn't the case.
Or maybe it is...
I caught a screening of JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT and it made me realize something so crystal clear and obvious...yet I have blinded myself for so long I can't believe I wasn't able to see it.
What did JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT make me realize???

There is something seriously wrong with the movie industry, our expectations as an audience, and (eventually) the legacy we leave for the future.

So here we go - my review of JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT.

First off, I'm growing tired of the movie title: movie title thing.  But maybe I'll rant on that later.
This is the FIFTH official Jack Ryan film.  In case you're not keeping score, here's what's come before:
We had Alec Baldwin first tackle the character (after Kevin Costner passed) in THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER.  Then it was Harrison Ford's turn in PATRIOT GAMES & CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER.  After a long hiatus we got Ben Affleck in the reboot version, THE SUM OF ALL FEARS.

To be fair and bluntly honest, Alec Baldwin nailed the role.  He pretty much defined exactly who Jack Ryan was.  Harrison Ford played the part like Harrison Ford played almost ever part in the 90's.  He pointed his finger, his family was in danger, and it was up to him to save the world.  While his versions were good, they played more like Harrison Ford action movies and not the way the character was intended.  When Affleck jumped on board he brought a lot of Baldwin to his portrayal, but his chops weren't yet sharp enough to be anything more than the doooooossshhh who did the movie PAYCHECK.

I LOVE THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER.  It's a great flick which never fails.  I can watch it once a week for a year and I'm still entranced by it's ability to weave an intelligent story, seduce me to see beyond any dated computer tech-talk, and it truly causes me to care about the characters involved - on both sides of the coin, too.

The reason I'm gushing for RED OCTOBER is because it's what I wanted SHADOW RECRUIT to be.  I wanted it to be a patient film, not relying on any shaky camera work.  I wanted it to be an honest film, showing me Jack Ryan as an analyst for the CIA who was brilliant in the brain - yeah, he had seen some action in the past, but it left him hurt and almost crippled...so now he's the brains.  Jack Ryan is probably best summed up as being BRAINS with BALLS, and that's exactly how Alec Baldwin played him.  Now, I know Baldwin is only as good as the script - but when a movie is not only about Jack Ryan but also called JACK RYAN, well I guess I need the performance to be even, consistent and (hopefully) good.

I'm going to assume you're confused because this is supposed to be a movie review and (so far) I've told you nothing about the flick I'm reviewing.  That's my fault...I don't really review movies like most people.  I'm kind of a runaway train.  Stick with me and everything will work itself out.

So let's start out with the plot of SHADOW RECRUIT...

It's supposed to be a reboot of the Jack Ryan story.  (I know, ANOTHER reboot)  In some ways, it succeeds.  See, the movie starts out with a young, hair-extension wearing Chris Pine (yes, the new Captain Kirk) as young Jack Ryan in England.  He's in school - but all that matters is 9-11...because he gets to see the twin towers fall on TV.  This leads us to a time jump.  A few years later we see Ryan, in a helicopter.  Now he's a Lieutenant in the Marines, wearing the camo.  What he's doing is unclear and it doesn't matter.  All you need to see is him undoing his seat belt to help one of two other Marines properly buckle up - just in time for a missile attack and crash landing.  We don't see the landing, but we hear about it as he's rushed to a hospital.  We overhear how he broke his back, but still managed to save the other two Marines.  We flash forward some more and see him and (obviously the future Mrs. Ryan because we watched the trailer for this movie) Keira Knightley.  Keira is doing her best at a convincing American accent (more on that later), and she's a resident doctor in training - helping Ryan learn to walk again.  While he wobbles and pops a pill, Kevin Costner is in the shadows...Costner is there to be the Admiral Pike to Kirk's Ryan.  (Yeah, that's a stretch - but it works)  By the time Costner makes himself known to Ryan we learn how cool Ryan is (and how cocky) because Jack tells this CIA bad ass that he's been watching him watching him.  Ryan is told by Costner's character about an assignment and (of course) he takes it.
That's when the opening credits flash up, "JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT."
Seriously, that's when we finally see the opening credits.
So no, I wasn't spoiling anything by giving you my rundown of the film...because the movie hasn't even really started yet...and guess what - it SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE ANY FURTHER THAN THE CREDITS!  Honestly, if they would have found a young Alec Baldwin impersonator to sub for Chris Pine, they could have made a short film perfect to play before watching THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER.
Ok, that's just crazy talk on my part.  (Because I just did a search and can't find any Alec Baldwin impersonators on the interwebs)
See, it's mentioned in THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER about Ryan's past and how he learned to walk again.  You can imagine it and invest yourself in the character.  He's got BRAINS with BALLS.  In SHADOW RECRUIT we see just how hard it is for him to learn to walk again...for about a minute...then, amazingly, he's running laps in the next scene.
I referenced how the previous actors played the RYAN character.  So let's talk about Chris Pine.  

Looking back at the performances before, it became clear to me that the actors were trying to play it very straight and with hints of fear.  In SHADOW RECRUIT, Pine tries to do this - but it fails because his first moment to be in danger ends in **SPOILERS** him drowning the attacker.  It's one thing, in movies, to just shoot a bad guy.  It's something VERY different to show a man drowning another.  It's brutal, it's not quick, and it shows a merciless ability to take a life.  That's NOT Jack Ryan...at least it's not the way he's been shown before.  The biggest problem comes with Ryan freaking out AFTER he kills the attacker.  Again, if he had just shot him I would understand the panic.  But instead he drowns him.  It was very BOND.  (More on that soon)
So now we have Jack Ryan - killing machine - who is supposed to be a shell-shocked CIA analyst investigating some bad financial happenings in Russia.  Instead, we have Jack Bourne Bond Ryan and he crosses the globe to stand in front of the bad guy (after drowning one of the bad guys' bad guys) and the two go to dinner together - all the while they each know the truth behind the other.  How BOND is that?!  
Seriously, I'm going to go off the rails here - because I wanted to like this film, I really did...but the ENTIRE MOVIE plays out like a remake of CASINO ROYALE with sprinkles of MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL & THE BOURNE LEGACY.  
MAJOR SPOILER - MAJOR SPOILER!
The bad guy is SO MUCH OF A THREAT to our lead character that his fate is handled almost EXACTLY the way Bond's enemy was handled in CASINO ROYALE!
Ok, Major Spoiler over...
Let's wrap this up before I explode.
Kenneth Branagh directed the film and stars as the bad guy from Russia.  Tank God he did this villain justice - because it makes up for my memory of him in WILD WILD WEST.  Sweet fancy Moses.

Keira Knightley adopts an American accent and plays the love interest.  Her character is only here to provide Ryan the chance to pull a 'Tom Cruise Run' to save her...and to look hot as balls.

Kevin Costner is rock solid and plays his mentor role perfectly.  He is balancing his attitude on the fence of "I'm old enough to be done with this" and "Still has a bit of fight left."  I don't know if that will make sense, but it's been a long time for a solid Costner character - and this is it.  Playing Pa Kent was NOT.

It's the fifth JACK RYAN film and I'm going to use that fact to give it my rating on a scale of 1 - 10.

There is one positive to this film!  MOTHER RUSSIA!  Seriously, I hated A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD more than any movie in recent memory.  The was Russia was used was pathetic - this film succeeds in a huge way by showing us a decent American action movie in a foreign land.  

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT

5 out of 10

This is going to be the first of many new reviews.  Stay tuned - or tubed - or whatever the right expression is.  Look for some video reviews and a whole lot more.  It's been a long time - I might be a bit rusty - but I'm coming back in a big way.